Just met a girl who informed me my interview was on a street known as ‘murder ave’ back in the day (in ft greene).
Am I going to die?
Its not that bad right?
No one tell my mother.

I’ve been hurt and pained and sad and exhausted and distressed and agitated and worried and sick and confounded and flustered and dejected and panicked and upset and confused over the last month, and I guess this is the day where all the anger comes out?

Because

I. Am. Pissed. Like, unholy, burning godlike wrath raining down from Olympus, pissed.

Which would be ok if I didn’t have to go to a job interview in 3 hours.

I am so hostile right now it’s hysterical. The rage I feel is so all out of proportion to the current situation it’s completely absurd. My face is getting the tic it gets when my intuition is trying to set off alarms to my conscious mind and body.

So I. just need to fucking cool it. At least for a few hours. I have to hold onto the rage giggles. Just for a few more hours.

.

whiskeyrobot replied to your post: Boots and Straps:

Yeah, but that’s also the nature of idioms.

I understand the post-modernist deconstructionist/reconstructionist approach to language, how it’s fluid and changing and a living breathing organism full of hearts and lungs and life like a zebra or whatever, but I do not understand why it has to be taken for granted that it’s totally ok to change the meaning of an idiom/axiom into something that actually makes no sense. You can’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps!  Go ahead and give it a try!  Jump into some quicksand and try to pull yourself out by your bootstraps. It just doesn’t make any sense. 

When someone says ‘these people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps’ they’re saying these people should do something that won’t work.

It’s ridiculous and totally nonsensical in the way everyone is trying to use it, it literally means the opposite of what they are trying to say, and so no, I don’t accept it’s new ‘meaning’. What I accept is that people are misusing it en masse, and as we proved time and time and time again, just because a bunch of people do something at the same time does not make it sensible, or natural or normal.

Whatever.

I’m in a shitty mood this morning and it’s a terrible day to be in a shitty mood because I have srz bznz and I guess I should go and work on that.

Does it strike anyone as the least bit ironic that the original meaning of the metaphor behind “Pulling Oneself Up By Ones Bootstraps” is the absurdity of an impossible task? The idea that yanking on the tab of your boot, while laying on the ground, is not actually going to bring you to your feet.

And I realize that the original meaning changed to one of ‘self sustaining effort’ (aka perpetual motion machines), but the original meaning always holds true with me because when you think about the actual words in the idiom it cannot mean anything else: you can’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps!  That’s not something that’s possible and trying is the epitome of futility!

Victor picked up on my internal world and sent this to me this morning. When they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I think they’re off by 2 or 3 million.

Fragments in Mercer St, NYC by Victor Macarol