These Days

I smell burning

My nose has always been excruciatingly, distractingly sensitive. I assume it’s genetic because I spent a good lot of my childhood watching my father traipse around the house smelling stuff. It was just what he did.

*sniff..sniff* *sniff sniff*

“you guys smell that?”

*sniff sniff*

“what? smell what? I don’t smell anything.”

“THAT! GOD! You guys can’t smell that? It’s electrical-y but kind of sweet. OH COME ON!! You can’t smell that?!”

*sniff sniff*

We’d just stare at him blank faced as he’d proceed, Bloodhound style, to sniff around the entire house, devoted to unearthing the source of the smell and simultaneously aggravating the loving shit out of my poor mother who insisted, ad naseum…NO WE DO NOT SMELL IT.

More often than not he’d catch a blown fuse or a shorted wire Or a car burning oil 2 blocks down. It was ridiculous. It’s kind of like Meg, and her fingernail growing superpower…handy. Maybe. In a way.

I’ve inherited this super special awesomeness and it made me especially effective in the wine industry, where I’d sniff out autumnal clove and kaffir lime leaves buried in the nose of some odd Spanish varietal. It sounded pompous of course, but I swear they were there. Thing is, it’s only gotten more intense since I’ve quit smoking. I cannot stop smelling things. Do you know how much everything smells? All the time? I’ve had to tape plastic wrap over most of the vents in the house because it gets so bad that the smell of someone toasting bread 4 apartments away will actually wake me up at night.

I often smell burning. No, it’s not a stroke thing. It’s actual burning but it takes a while to determine whether it’s organic or chemical, dry or wet heat, rancid or acrid, outside or inside. From father to child…the curse has been passed on!!

*sniff sniff*

*crazy eyes*

*sniff sniff*

“You can’t smell that? Seriously? THAT?!”

I feel for poor little Ralph Wiggum. I smell burning too little dude. I smell it too.

Posted 1 month ago & Filed under lifetime story of the week, she smells too much but cant love enough, rant, 5 notes