bohemian slapfight

ubergrid:

Just found this.  I think I wrote it around 2003?

It’s still illegal to stab people.

 I only want to stab people a bit. I don’t think I’m being unfair. But no. People tell me I am a Criminal and Brain-Wrong and should really sit down and take these very large tablets and here’s a nice glass of water. Has it never occurred to anyone that birds probably piss in clouds? Nice glass of water my arse. Have a glass of collected birdpiss rain. Use it to swallow tablets full of mindfucky stuff jerked out of the udders of genetically modified pigs.

I only want to stab people a bit. In the neckbits. And I don’t think it’s fair that I have to drink birdpiss and swallow pig squirtings. Because, frankly, your neckbits are fucking offensive to me.

And, if I’m totally honest, I’m the prime minister and I should get to do what I fucking well like.

And this is why Warren Ellis is my pretend boyfriend (he doesn’t know this so don’t tell him)