isay:
kaitlinsimmons:
thedame:
megan fox looks vampish
but always beautiful.
Although made of plastic.
Dear Megan Fox:
A) I get that you think you’re edgy, and that you disliking yourself seems inspired. That’s cool. I felt like that too when I was 23 but I wasn’t a smug dickface to David Letterman in the midst of it either. Choose your battles, and learn the art of mystery, darling.
2) You look like a Maxim pinup. Now that’s not necessarily a BAD thing…but…I’m assuming you want a career that lasts longer than 25 seconds ergo you may want to be kind to a gracious host who is actually just entertaining you because he’s PAID TO. You’re gorgeous. Have fun. Or take up a cause. Just stop taking
yourself so seriously. If nothing else, it’s wrinkly.
3) Stop. Talking. About. Yourself. Just stop. I understand you’re a nobody who is now a big somebody and people take your pictures and they seemingly care about what you think, but honey, they don’t. They really don’t. You are doing yourself a major disservice providing an idiotic soundbyte for anyone who asks you how your day was. I know you
should be able to say what you want, but girlfriend, this is HOLLYWOOD.
Get a publicist. Or 10. Or a Hollywood breakfast combo. Just get something, kid before you destroy yourself. There is no reason people should hate you the way they do. You may think it’s funny now, but when you’re 40 and have no job…it’s not going to be so funny! Seriously.
I know you’re young, and dumb. I get it. I do. You’re beautiful and you sometimes say stupid things. Just try be nice to people who are nice to you, be polite and above all else be humble, because where you are isn’t a result of hard work OR talent (and I’m sure you’d readily admit to that). You’re cute and you lucked out. And that happens, and that’s ok, but you need to start appreciating that and make it work, kiddo. Pronto!
Ok, Megan…Run…RUN LIKE THE WIND!
